It’s a common misunderstanding that introverts are anti-social. But that’s not true. While we do need a lot of time to recharge from social gatherings, that has nothing to do with our wish for connections with other people or our social skills. Another misunderstanding is that introverts are shy. Intraversion and shyness are two different things, but of course, one can have both. Personally, I have always admired extroverted people, who can just go up to others and start a conversation with them because getting to know new people feels so uneasy to me. I genuinely want to get to know others and once I know them, I can seem extroverted too. When I am in a group I love to invite those who look lonely themselves but when alone, it’s challenging because I’m too shy to make make the first step. Do you know that feeling? Whether you are just visiting or living here, the following tips will be useful to finding – and keeping – good friends in Seoul.
You may be a foreigner, looking for fellow country(wo)men or a native who wants to get to know some new POV’s. For some of the recommendations it is more likely to meet foreigners than Koreans. For those who might want to dive deeper into Korean culture and practice their Korean skills, there are some secret tips on how to meet locals too:
- Let’s say you don’t really know what you are looking for and just want to try making friends along the way. I can recommend living in a Hostel or Sharehouse. There are options where you can share a bedroom with others or, if that’s a little too much for you, just the common room. The hosts, who sometimes live in the accommodation too, are most likely Korean and the other guests most likely foreigners. An insider tip: search for your nearest Immigrant center. There are different institutions, like Seoul Foreign Resident Center, Seoul Global Village Center, Seoul Migrant Center or Seoul Counseling Center for Migrant Women, run by the city to help support the integration of immigrants. They offer different programs, courses and even contests where you can get information about your area and meet new people.
- Dipping into the knowledge of the world wide web is good but absolutely useless if you don’t know where to start. I recommend starting with social media, here called SNS. It’s so big here, it might even be inevitable to get it. Before coming to Korea I actually didn’t even have an Instagram account, but seeing how much information can solely be found on there, I had to get it. Also, it’s very common to share your Insta as a way to stay in touch with people you just met. And, believe it or not, Facebook is also still active here. You can find a lot of groups, where you can exchange information with others and find group meetings. Sometimes starting out online can be much easier, try it!
- There are some platforms that are based on events. Airbnb offers specific experiences, which you can book. I, for example, have booked a Perfume Workshop, Calligraphy Course and a course for Traditional Korean Music through Airbnb. Not only did I learn a lot and have a great time, I was also able to meet a many new people. While those events can get pretty pricey, MeetUp offers a lot of events that are free of cost. On there, you will also be able to book SeoulShare’s events. Personally, I have attended many different events of SeoulShare, like the Boardgames Meetups and Sports Classes, a lesson for Traditional Korean Dance, a Give-Away Market and a Jazz Festival. It really is a big, family-like community. They offer a variety of meet-ups, so whatever your hobby is, you will most definitely find like-minded people there. Also, for people who identify as female, I can recommend NomadHer, a community that organizes different events for female travelers, from small meet-ups, to big trips and even festivals.
Just meeting a lot of new people does not necessarily mean that you will connect with them, though. The key to really connecting with others is using your hobbies and interests:
- Are you interested in Korean culture and history? Seoul Walking Tours offer free (!) tours through the city by experienced guides. These guides are locals and have very good knowledge about their area of expertise. If anyone, they will be able to give you insider tips. The participants are most likely foreigners. During the tours you can engage in conversations about the topic very easily and make new friends.
- Language exchange/cultural exchange provide the opportunity to meet locals and foreigners while learning more about the language and culture. If you want something more formal, try a Korean language class. If you have the money, go to an academy, they offer long-term but also short-term courses*. If you don’t have the funds to do that, check out the language courses of Sookmyung Women’s University where you can get a weekly class for all levels for just 1.000 Won! If you prefer a more casual and fun atmosphere, I can recommend the group YNA, which hosts meet-ups twice every week in Hongdae. It follows the concept of being assigned to a team and rotating partners thrice. There are quite some regulars so you can easily build up a group there.
- If you have a very specific interest, I recommend you finding a social club. If you like a certain sport, Yoga for example, go to a Yoga Studio (check out The Flow Room Yoga studio!). Since I like voluntary work and am interested in environmentalism, I participated in so called “ploggings”, where people gather and clean up public places like parks or beaches. Volunteer Korea is an organization that engages in projects for the environment but also animals and food. They are a mixed community and welcome everyone with an open attitude, so you can’t help but make friends immediately. Another interest of mine is writing and any kind of art. One day, what serendipity, I stumbled upon a little art exhibition named The Hechyeomoyeo. At that time it was the opening party for their third group-exhibition, where all kinds of artists came together to show their work and celebrate it. A few months later I joined the fourth group-exhibition and that was the beginning of me finding my creative path. Whether you are a person who makes art or a person who just enjoys experiencing it, you have to try it. You will make connections immediately. It was a friend from The Hechyeomoyeo who introduced me to a group of artists who were looking to start something together. Like that, Standby was created, a collective that writes and performs together and hosts open-mic events for other artists. If you are interested in writing, no matter what kind of genre, these amazing people have created a safe-space for you to express yourself, get some inspiration- and make friends. (Want to know more about it? An interview with Roya, founder of Standby and good friend, is coming up soon!)
Let’s say you made new friends. Great! Now you also need to keep them:
- Staying in touch in Korea with Koreans can work a little differently though. Here, most commonly KakaoTalk is being used as a messenger. If you don’t want to give out your number or KakaoID, you can exchange your Insta. That way you can catch up on them easily and find common connections.
- When it comes to texting, expect it to have the same pace as everything else in Korea – quick. The closer you are with that person, the more often you text with them. It can be seen as a sign of disinterest and that might be taken as an unspoken hint to back off if you take too long to answer.
- When it comes to meeting, don’t take it personally if Koreans suggest to meet some place outside. As common as it may be in the western world to invite people to your home, here it’s less likely unless you’re really close with them.
- Try to keep it going: show interest and reach out to them to see how they are doing. Go to the social events and gatherings, even if it’s just for an hour or so, to keep connected with everyone. It will be worth it.
Lastly I’d like to encourage you: don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone! Just one little step can lead a long way. You might be just one “Hey” away from meeting your new best friend. You can do it!
Were you able to find useful tips or do you have some recommendations yourself that you’d like to share? Let me know in the comments! 🌸
*Want to know more about Korean Language Schools? Check out this SeoulShare Article by writers Lee Park and K.T.: https://myseoulshare.com/find-your-dream-korean-language-school-in-seoul-the-ultimate-guide
